saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
