New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
