I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
