I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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