i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
