My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
