It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
