I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
