I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
