I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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