What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Hippo gnu deer
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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