dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
