is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
