Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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