It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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