it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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