I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Randomize
