Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
My liver just had a heart attack.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
