Do vagina's smell?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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