I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
