im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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