I feel great
I just peed on a car
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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