Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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