Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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