Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
