Sponge bath it is.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
