left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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