just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
