I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
