it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
