She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
