At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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