my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
