i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
