i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
