i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
