I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
