Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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