Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
