Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
