omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
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