my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
