Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
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