3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
i out mim tonsoeep
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