I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
