god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
