Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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