it wasn't lemon gatorade
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
