Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
that is very illegal...i love you.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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