hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Houston, we have a blender
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
