The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
