Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
