I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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